Palm Springs, California, 1990. While easily 1,000 UCLA students on spring break are cruising S. Palm Canyon Drive crushing Bud Light after Bud Light in their truck beds turned hot tubs, I’m inside Wherehouse Music anxiously cruising the endless isles of newly released and freshly shrink-wrapped cassette tapes (with a couple of these new digital CDs interspersed). I am looking for that perfect album that will be my very first cassette, purchased with my very own hard-earned allowance money.
Maybe because it is killing it in both the UK and US markets with upwards of seven million albums sold, maybe because it is well on its way to winning the Grammy for record of the year, or maybe because I just think it is cool that an unashamed balding man could be one of the biggest music stars of all time, I know …But Seriously by Phil Collins is the cassette for me.
Ubiquitously airing on the radio, and constantly showing in sepia tone on MTV, the massively successful hit “Another Day In Paradise” kicks off side 2 of the album with one of the most memorable hooks in music history, and I immediately understand that it’s time to get serious…about something that deserves our seriousness.
There is nothing like buying one's first cassette...or is there?
I don’t know why I want this album; my normal go-to music choices at this point involve MC Hammer and Rick Astley. Maybe (probably) it appeals to me because my yet undiscovered but developing pre-grunge identity is forming. I’m getting hip to Faith No More, and Pearl Jam's Ten will soon be my very first CD purchase—but that's the subject of another article, so let’s not get too advanced here.
Somewhere deep inside me, I know that this album (and the way the video for “Another Day In Paradise” is filmed) is signaling that a significant change is happening in modern pop music and that the all-out good times zebra print sexy spandex way of life on Sunset Strip is coming to an abrupt and brutally painful end.
Although Seattle is credited with putting the nail in the coffin of the absurd (albeit fun) era of the “Hair Band,” I have no doubt Phil Collins helped the pop world (and the ultra-wealthy execs at Atlantic) accept the transition without “thinking twice.” …But Seriously was the first cassette I ever bought and I can still smell its plastic wrap and paper insert.
Omaha, Nebraska, 2024. My mother-in-law’s car is old. It has no way for me to plug in my iPhone or connect my Bluetooth to play my carefully curated Spotify playlist of modern alt-indie country songs…all produced to sound vintage like they are not being added to a carefully curated Spotify playlist. The car has nothing to meet my modern musical needs, but it does have a cassette player.
I don’t live in Omaha, but whenever I come here I find it’s a great place to shop for vintage vinyl and retro western cowboy wear (cause that’s my thing now), so I’m cruising around town with my iPhone precariously placed on the dash. It’s absolutely ridiculous these days to drive around in your mother-in-law’s car listening to music directly from your phone speaker, but desperate times call for a desperate listening experience, and this is my burden. The music sounds terrible.
My day’s plans are to go find a retro western cowboy shirt with pearl buttons and white floral stitching (as that completely represents the kind of music I am writing these days) and to go digging through bin after bin of smelly vinyl records. I love it. I managed to hit three record stores today, but it was in the final one that I noticed cassette tapes and CDs are starting to once again take featured roles on the shelves.
As a professional musician in the industry today, the resurgence of vinyl records as a viable and significant piece of merchandise and revenue is not lost on me. While I don’t have a bone to pick with streaming audio, I absolutely love that the revenue produced from vinyl record sales is altering the balance of how artists think about making money—and producing their music in the studio. Retro is modern, and it signals a massive shift in the way fans like to experience their music. But you all already know this.
At this point, we all are well aware that “vinyl is making a comeback.” We’ve read too many articles about that. But what we may not realize is that there is a new “Alt-Retro” wave coming. Yes, I coined that phrase; yes, I should copyright it; no, I never will.
In this record store, absorbing the deep knowledge of this septum-pierced, Coors Banquet promoting, fanny pack-wearing sales individual I’m speaking with, I am waking up to the fact that CDs and cassettes are on the uptick (all you Deadheads should be excited about this—start trading again). And while this individual has no idea what it’s truly like to rewind a cassette tape with a number two pencil, they do know exactly what is on the horizon…more cassettes.
I am inspired. I am floored. I now know what I must do. I now know I must take Phil Collins’ advice—to think twice. Right here in Omaha, Nebraska, in my mother-in-law’s vintage Hyundai with only a cassette player, I must restart my musical journey. I must learn to accept the future hi-fi sounds of a warbly and hissy-sounding cassette tape and (for $2.99) re-buy my very first musical experience: …But Seriously.