Five excruciatingly annoying pop hits from 1980s

Hit songs are in most cases songs that stick to your memory and when you hear them, you can hardly get them out of your head. The problem is that you want some of those there, while others you want to expunge from your brain as soon as possible.

The thing with big hits is that as soon as modern pop (in its rock or any other form) was shaped (and still is) a set of musical formulas came into play to make hits out of songs. By the time we got to the eighties, those formulas got into full swing, and it might have been a decade where such songs ruled the air and TV (MTV) waves. 

That situation gave us so many great songs that you still want to play over and over as well as those that we didn’t want to hear then, even less now. Here are five of those eighties songs that you just might want to delete from all your playlists.

Five eighties hits that shouldn’t have been

Kajagoogoo - “Too Shy”

Compared to this song (the only biggie for these guys), as well as for anything they recorded (including the solo career of Limahl), anything labeled bubblegum pop(rock) from the previous decades sounds like really heavy stuff. Actually, everything about this band its name, and this song in particular, seems to be some sort of eighties bubblegum, but like any ordinary gum, it sticks to your shoe (or brain) and you can hardly get it off.

Ton Basil - “Mickey”

No wonder Basil ( real name Antonia Christina Basilotta) was a choreographer, as this was supposed to be something that any cheerleading squad, from elementary school to professional ones was supposed to pick up.

Maybe some did, but this one was so annoying from start to finish, that no middle school squad would pick it up these days. No wonder Basil promptly disappeared after this one, practically not to be heard of after this one.

Falco - “Rock Me Amadeus”

Ok, maybe one plus point for acknowledging one of the greatest classical composers ever. After all, Johan Holzel, aka Falco was Austrian himself and graduated from Vienna Conservatory. Still, that doesn’t excuse him for coming up with this stuff that fits classical music strips into synth-pop clothing and makes the whole thing sound like a chicken wearing a garter belt. Yet, this one made it big for Falco, who probably should have stuck with his Ber;in-based jazz rock band.

Europe - “The Final Countdown”

Maybe that synth intro to this one was fun for some (at least for a while) back in 1986 when it came out, but for others it made your teeth cringe (and still does). Too overblown and pompous from start to finish, it nevertheless sold in millions, but these Swedish guys kept on peddling that same sound for decades, with their more poppish stuff being far superior to this.

Milli Vanilli - “Girl I’m Gonna Miss You"

German producer Fran Farian was one of pop music formula masters, something he first proved with Boney M, and German/Dutch duo Milli Vanilli was supposed to be the key jewel in his crown.

Yet, unlike Boney M, whose female side of the band could at least sing, Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus couldn’t, as it turned out that they were supposed to be there to look good. At the same time, Farian’s formulas really showed what the term ‘formulaic’ means in pop music. No wonder these guys were stripped of their Grammy Award.

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