Five overplayed songs from the 1970s that stole our souls
By Lee Vowell
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The 1970s. Ah. What a fine decade for music. We had Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, and Joy Division. In between there were other things, but at least we had those. So, you know...rejoice!
There was awful a lot of awfulness. Disco, anyone? You know you feel the vomit coming up, right? It's OK. Let it out. Let the sacred purge begin.
The following five songs are horrible as well. In fact, they likely could have led to the downfall of humankind. Thankfully, you know...Bowie saved us. So did punk. And anything worth listening to.
Five of the worst songs from the 1970s that hurt your soul
Starland Vocal Band – "Afternoon Delight"
The best karaoke version of this song has to be from Arrested Development when the uncle and niece don't realize what they are singing. That is because the musical awfulness is so thick that the words are covered in a slime that will never leave you for listening to this tune.
It's so dreck that if you were 12 and thought you liked this song, you should now apologize to your 12-year-old self and say ten AC/DCs and five Black Sabbaths. You should also apologize to the ghost of Bon Scott just for having to do so.
Seriously, what drivel. The lyrics include:
"Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'"
First of all, "baby" is a weird phrase to use with a partner. It's actually quite sickening. Seriously...just think about it. I'll wait.
Gross, right? Who exactly is in control of this island? But I digress.
Also, where is the singer trying to find his "baby"? Strip club? Church service? Social media disaster?
The song should have been written in a fever dream of laughter and then accidentally found a home with a musical "artist." By the way, can you name the second-biggest hit of the Starlight...Starbright...Oops! Starland Vocal Band? (We cannot either.)