It’s often said that the 1970s were one of the best decades for music. I’d argue it’s the best, but probably because I recall so much of the music of the time as new and emerging at the time. It brings back many memories for sure every time I hear a tune from back then.
Mostly, that's happy memories, even if the song wasn't that good. And while the 1970s may have been a top time musically, it had plenty of songs that fell well below that standard. A common factor is a cringeworthy factor that sticks to many of those tunes.
Surprisingly, many were big hits back then. While some songs mature with age or need a retrospective view, that doesn’t apply to the five songs listed here; they are still awful now.
5 popular songs from the 1970s that are still awful now
In most cases, it’s hard to understand why they were hits when released. They certainly haven't got any better since. Worryingly, they are perhaps just the tip of the iceberg. The 1970s had many more like these, but there is a limit to how much we can take at one time, so let's just look at the five here.
“Disco Duck” – Rick Dees and his cast of idiots
So yeah, what better way to start with what is surely one of the worst songs? Please don't go and listen to it, you’ll not get it out of your head for days. It did exactly what the title says. It was disco, it was a talking duck. Think Donald Duck getting down vocally while backed orchestrally with a thumping beat.
Rick Dees, a Memphis-based DJ, was behind all this. He knew its potential, though, noting that it took just a day to write but almost three months to get anyone to perform it. The song hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100 in October 1976. Not to mention being a top 20 charter on the Billboard Hot Soul list, too.
The song did sneak into a scene on the massive 1977 movie Saturday Night Fever. But not onto the blockbuster soundtrack album. Dees’ agent apparently advised against agreeing to be included in the 40 million-selling record. I wonder how long he remained as his agent!
“(You’re) Having My Baby” – Paul Anka
Let’s shift from one sort of cringemaking song to another with a look at Paul Anka’s 1974 hit “(You’re) Having My Baby”. Anka has many great songs to his name as a performer and a writer, but this stands at the other end of the scale. It’s hard to imagine he wrote the English lyrics for theFrank Sinatra classic “My Way” when you listen to this song.
Apart from being syrupy, schmaltzy, and sentimental to a high-sugar degree, Anka just didn't get the tone of the lyrics right. It’s been deemed sexist with his talk of ‘my’ rather than ‘our’ baby. There’s also a line that suggests the mother decided against an abortion.
He doesn't even sing his poor words that well. And yet it made number one in the US and elsewhere around the world. It’s still one to avoid, as Anka did himself at times in his later concerts.
My Ding-a-Ling” – Chuck Berry
Despite his legendary status, this was Chuck Berry’s only number-one song. Maybe he wasn't being daft in releasing this somewhat childish tune after all. It came out as a live version, having been unexpectedly recorded at a show in Coventry, UK, in 1972. He was being followed by Pink Floyd, who were being filmed, and so his piece of audience participation was also preserved.
It was embarrassing at the time, unless you were a teenager and feeling rebellious about playing a song with double entendres out loud. It’s not much of a song; there’s no trademark guitar playing of style or substance. It’s just a bad joke out loud and hasn’t gotten any funnier.
“Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep” – Middle of the Road
Scottish band Middle Of The Road had a few hits in the early 1970s, “Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep was one of their biggest. A number one hit and a gold disc. It is cheesy, bouncy, and sounds like a reasonably happy sing-along tune.
The lyrics aren't epic by any means, but when you realise they cover a kid waking up and finding his parents have gone, it takes a bit of a sinister and yet unexplained turn.
If you don't pay attention to the words, it probably still fits as an old-school floor filler at celebrations and parties. Even then, the distinctive vocals and simple pop sound do grate considerably. It will still resonate with many and is hard to avoid joining in the chorus when you hear it, but we should definitely resist when we can.
“Brand New Key” – Melanie
It’s certainly not in the “Sk8r Boi” camp, and it’s a different sort of skating, but Melanie still made roller skating a bit hotter with her 1971 tale of teen lust—even if we didn't quite realise how hot it was at the time. Melanie appears to have written it innocently enough, but others have since detected all sorts of Freudian elements and innuendo in the words.
It is still a slightly weird tune, that’s perhaps underlined by its basic lyrics and storyline. But also very much by the singer's childlike and slightly nasal tone as she sings. Charming and endearing soon switch to irritating and annoying. She had far better songs, but is best known for this chart topper.
Over in the UK, the Wurzels took a slightly different approach to the song a few years later, cider drinking country bumpkins and a new tractor adding a rural twist.