Absolutely awful number-one songs of the 2000s

2. “Do I Make You Proud” by Taylor Hicks (2006)

I wasn’t paying much attention to American Idol in 2005. But I was aware of who Taylor Hicks was. When he won, it didn’t really change my world. In retrospect, none of the other contenders that year – the ones who all the more serious music fans thought were better than Hicks – were in fact any better. Not even Chris Daughtry. He turned out to be a much better pop star, but I’m not sure the world needed more Daughtry. Or Kathleen McPhee or Elliott Yamin or Kellie Pickler. The point is, I don’t think anyone really stood out in season 5.

At least Taylor Hicks was different, which is almost certainly why he won. He wasn’t especially good – there have been far better blue-eyed soul singers. But he had a good shtick. Not all that different from the one Michael Bolton had ridden to stardom a couple of decades earlier. Bolton had a bigger voice, but that turned out to almost be a curse because he felt the need to use it. If I’m comparing Hicks to Michael Bolton – well, that’s not a good thing. Again, I don’t think Taylor Hicks was ever marked for stardom.

But, oh what they did to him. “Do I Make You Proud” is just about the worst song the Idol producers could have chosen. I mean, it got to number one, true. But it did nothing to launch a career. In fact, it sunk the career. That’s because they gave a quirky little soul singer the most generic-sounding, sappy ballad imaginable.

This is a guy whose fans were dubbed the Soul Patrol and yet here he is singing over the same opening piano chords you’ve heard in a hundred songs. Eventually, the piano is joined by a mess of background voices and strings and echoes. Hicks’ voice is pushed forward so he doesn’t get overwhelmed, but there is nothing remotely soulful about “Do I Make You Proud.” Listen to Hicks’ second single - a cover of the Doobie Brothers’ “Takin’ It to the Streets.”

I mean, it’s not especially good. The original is way better. But at least this is a performance that shows off what Taylor Hicks could do – for better or worse. But nobody was going to sound good singing “Do I Make You Proud.” Maybe Beyonce. Maybe Celine. Maybe …. Just maybe Mariah….