Absolutely awful number-one songs of the 2000s

10. “Fireflies” by Owl City (2009)

Doing this list has reminded me that there can sometimes be a difference between your initial impressions of a song and your impressions after you hear it several more times. For instance, I was considering a bunch of songs for this 10th spot from forgettable soft love songs like Sisqo’s “Incomplete” and Ashanti’s “Foolish” to something a little different like “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” which is a really good song for about 45 seconds before turning instantly redundant. Then I gave my long list one final listen and Adam Young’s earworm made the strongest case for that coveted final spot.

You can be forgiven if – upon hearing “Fireflies” for the first time – you think it is a cute, quirky little blast of meaningless pop psychology. That’s what I thought. But be forewarned. Do not give it a second spin, or you will develop a severe cerebral toothache and will require at least an hour of the Clash, NWA, or System of a Down – whatever big audio dynamite you choose – to blast this fey ditty out of your brain.

That applies to the twitchy electronic backing as well as the whiny vocal. But what really bugs me upon repeated listening is the inanity of the lyrics. The big revelation of the chorus – “I’d like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly.” 

How much slower do you want it to spin? You realize what would happen, right? Or what would happen if ten million fireflies did in fact leave teardrops everywhere?

Fortunately, I don’t think fireflies can shed tears, or else I’m sure it would have been included in this cool “14 Fun Facts About Fireflies” article I read in Smithsonian. That article doesn’t mention Adam Young or his Owl City alter ego either. “Fireflies” sneaked into the decade at the very end of 2009 with a two-week run atop the charts and you might want to include it on a setlist if you are hosting a Housing Bubble Crash party. You know – late in the playlist – when you want people to start leaving.