As we get into the Christmas spirit people will start to dig out some festive playlist. Unless you work in retail of course. Stores have been playing Christmas music for months now so workers there will be playing anything but those songs.
Those people apart, it feels like a good time to offer a few suggestions and recommendations. There are of course plenty of great seasonal songs through the years to choose from, so less advice is needed on what to include. Let's turn the focus on some awful albums to be avoided at all cost. The majority come from celebrities more than musicians, with an occasional exception. That should be a warning in itself.
As you look through this list of six albums, keep in mind that someone, somewhere thought they were a good idea. Ok, maybe there was a spark of merit at the time they were released, but it’s hard to think that way now. Time hasn't been kind to them for sure.
Six awful Christmas albums to be avoided
Also, remember that people did buy these albums. It probably wasn't you, and I doubt many will admit it. But they could be lurking somewhere in your family’s record or CD collection. Just waiting for a chance to share their festive messages. Make sure nobody sneaks any of these onto your player.
David Hasselhoff - The Night Before Christmas
It’s big, bold, and cheesy, the album I mean. The trouble is that's not really a good thing for traditional Christmas carols. The Knightrider star doesn't bring anything special to them at all. The album is a regular feature in worst Christmas albums lists, so adding here doesn't bring any new insight, but it would be wrong to omit such a stinker from this one.
Shatner Claus - The Christmas Album
There are so many warnings and signals on this. Just the adoption of the name, Shatner Claus rather than William Shatner. I’m sure it will have been said about this record before but he sure went boldly where no man has gone before on it. And hopefully, no one will go near again, too. How on earth (or maybe in space) did the likes of Iggy Pop, Rick Wakeman, and Todd Rundgren, agree to appear on it? And why?
Star Wars - Christmas in the Stars
This one isn't as close to a black hole as that Shatner release, but it’s close. I’m not sure in what time zone the Star Wars characters are aware of Christmas, but hey that doesn't seem to have bothered any of the creators. I guess Star Wars enthusiasts might be happy to play it, but you’d have to be really fanatical I think.
If you feel the need for a blast of “What Do You Get A Wookie For Christmas?” this might be for you, otherwise, it’s another to avoid. On an obscure fact note - it does feature a young singer credited as John Bongiovi on another song. He wasn’t livin’ on a prayer with that one.
Christopher Lee - A Heavy Metal Christmas
Not quite an album, thankfully, but two songs in 2012 and a second pair on A Heavy Metal Christmas Too the following year are plenty. Quite bizarre and one’s to miss playing. Although Christopher Lee was best known for playing cruel villains in many movies, he did have a music career too. Heavy metal was his thing for many years.
By the time these two festive specials came out, he was in his 90s. He brought an operatic voice to traditional tunes backed by crashing guitars and drums. If you ever stop to admire the simple beauty of “Silent Night”, definitely don't go near the first of these.
William Hung - Hung For The Holidays
Clearly, it was a money-making effort, though with only around 35,000 sales, that probably didn't come off. You have to wonder who bought it though. William Hung made his name for his voice, but not in a good way. He became known for his awful audition on American Idol back in 2004. There’s not much more to say to explain why it's a bad record, but just in case you need more, it sounds cheap, it’s awful and the only reason to play it would surely be as a joke. Make sure it's not on you.
Jingle Dogs - Christmas Unleashed
Barking mad. It’s dogs barking to a range of Christmas tunes. I wasn't expecting them to sing, or turn in mind-blowing performances. I also wasn't really expecting a whole album of different songs of dogs barking festively. I can't think why anyone would want to play or have this. Surely even your own pet would go mad at the sound. I’m just highlighting one album here, but there is a whole stream of others that are in much the same style, but include cats or babies. To be avoided entirely.