If you need one more review of Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl, here’s mine. It’s good. Very good, in fact. Beyond that, I’ll leave it to others. We have a fine review right here for you to consider.
The fact is, I don’t really have much to add to what has already been said about where the megastar’s 12th studio release fits into her discography. Or what it says about her personal life. Or how it reflects whatever was going on in Tortured Poets. Or whether we can glean any clues about the Kansas City Chiefs.
I consider myself a Swift agnostic. I have always liked her. I have never loved her. I have suspected from early on that she may be preternaturally incapable of writing a bad song. Or perhaps of releasing a bad song. I’m sure she has penned some that never saw the light of day.
Ranking the tracks on Taylor Swift's The Life of a Showgirl
But music is such a personal thing, and I prefer my pop artists to lean a little more into the jagged and the messy. There’s no denying that Max Martin and Shellback have reunited with Taylor to produce a pristine, gorgeous album without a single false note.
And maybe that’s precisely why I can’t rank Showgirl quite as high as others might, despite liking it very much. For all the beauty and precision that Martin and Shellback and Jack Antanoff have delivered, I kind of wish Taylor would step outside her insular pop circle and try something different. Maybe Will Yip. Maybe Jayden Seeley.
Just imagine if Taylor called up 100 gecs’ Dylan Brady for a collab. That’s a dream team for me.
So no formal review, but I will give you a track ranking, from it’s OK to total banging earworm.
“Honey”
The penultimate track is a cute little pop tune, and evidence that there are no bad songs on Showgirl. But it’s soft as gossamer and sweet as, well, honey. Despite typically clever lyrical construction …
“Buy the paint in the corner of your eyes
And graffiti my whole damn life”
This is a song that Taylor – and many other artists – have done to greater effect.
“Wood”
I suppose I should applaud the Jackson 5 guitar riff that carries “Wood” along, but the cutesy, lasciviousness of the double entendre that permeates the song …
“The curse on me was broken by your magic wand…”
Sorry, I expect a little better from a Taylor Swift d**k joke song.
“Opalite”
Those first two songs could have been left off the album and I wouldn’t have minded at all. Beginning with “Opalite,” I wouldn’t drop anything else. It’s a fine tune.
“Sleepless in the onyx night
Now the sky is opalite”
That’s a strong piece of imagery. And the song as a whole offers nice self-examination and the type of personal revelation that underpins so much of Taylor’s best music. It’s really a nice song that should deliver a bigger punch on the chorus. That makes it a nice song that could have been more.
“CANCELLED!”
“CANCELLED!” hits the right production notes. It has a gothic creep that serves the message and efficient lyrics that capture a specific moment in time.
“Did you make a joke only a man could
Were you just too smug for your own good
Or bring a tiny violin to a knife fight
Baby that all ends tonight”
“Bring a tiny violin to a knife fight” is one of the best lyrics of the year, but still…. I can’t help but think of Ozzy singing “Paranoid” or Alanis doing “Ironic.” I don’t think “cancelled” is the right word here. I know Taylor Swift has been vilified and pilloried by opportunists without a fraction of her talent, but cancelled? Her voice may have been heard by more people on the planet since, well, ever. There’s something here that doesn’t add up.
“Father Figure”
I realize the two songs don’t cover the exact same topic, but I can’t listen to “Father Figure” without thinking of Olivia Rodrigo’s “Vampire.” They both serve up world-weary bitterness at the manipulation of younger women by older men. Taylor can match Olivia’s lyrical incisiveness….
“I’ll be your father figure
I drink that brown liquor
I can make deals with the devils because my d**k's bigger”
But “Vampire” is an epic. This one is just a very good pop song.
“Wi$h Li$t”
I’m tempted to downgrade this for the dollar signs, but it is so effing infectious that I cannot resist.
“They want that freedom, living off the grid
They want those three dogs that they call their kids…”
When I can write a couplet like that, then maybe I’ll lower the grade for those dollar signs.
“Ruin the Friendship”
This feels like early Taylor to me more than anything else on the album. But its message …
“My advice is always ruin the friendship
Better that than regret it for all time"
Is such a cool POV shift from “It’s My Party,” that I think it feels simultaneously classic and cutting edge in equal measure.
“Actually Romantic”
I don’t know if Taylor had Jack River’s “Adolescent” in mind when she penned this, but, well, “Adolescent” is one of the best songs of the last decade, and “Actually Romantic” leans even more heavily into the brilliant putdown.
“Like a toy Chihuahua barking at me from a tiny purse
That’s how much it hurts”
Taylor is very good at reclaiming the upper hand and this is one of her best efforts.
“Eldest Daughter”
The three songs I prefer to “Eldest Daughter” fall into the banger category. They are more complex and ambitious. That’s not why I prefer them, because when Taylor hits on something as simple and beautiful as this song, she doesn’t need production pyrotechnics or elaborate song structures.
“You know the last time I laughed this hard
Was on the trampoline in somebody’s backyard
I must have been about eight or nine
That was the night I fell off and broke my arm
Pretty soon I learned cautious discretion”
Few songwriters can capture moments from the past and use them to explain the present better than Taylor.
“Fate of Ophelia”
“Fate of Ophelia” opens the album and its opening sets the bar high. It snaps hard and begins a story worth listening to.
“I heard you calling on the megaphone
You want to see me all alone
As legend has it
You are quite the pyro
You light the match to watch it blow”
With that opening, you’d expect the song to explode into the chorus. It doesn’t, and for me, that’s sums up the flaw in the album. This song could have been epic, and it settles for just being well above average.
“Elizabeth Taylor”
I think this is probably the best song on the album and one of the best in Taylor's career. It is bold and clever. Lyrically and musically, it sparkles. I think the drum could have been more insistent but the song is so continually intriguing that it barely matters.
“Elizabeth Taylor
Tell me for real
Do you think it’s forever
Been number one but I never had two
And I can’t have fun if I can’t have…”
I don’t think anyone has used an iconic Hollywood legend to such effect since Suzanne Vega did “Marlene on the Wall” forty years ago.
“The Life of a Showgirl”
This is the kind of blatantly autobiographical confessional that Taylor Swift has probably done better than any pop artist. It’s an outstanding composition that traces a story arc with an earworm chorus, clever rhyme schemes and tricky internal rhythms.
“Her name was Kitty
Made her money being pretty and witty
They gave her the keys to the city
Then they said she didn’t do it legitly”
It’s a great album closer but for me, it is the presence of Sabrina Carpenter that puts it over the top. Taylor Swift is an excellent singer but I don’t know that she is a very versatile singer. Carpenter adds a touch of mania to the control that Taylor always maintains. That’s what guest cameos should do – step outside the box a little bit. The song would have been very good without Carpenter. With her, it is exceptional.
Everyone out there should jot down your own list. Maybe not 1,500 words – maybe just the titles. It pays dividends down the road. A year from now or ten years from now … if you are still a fan, it’s fascinating to listen again and see if you agree with your younger self, or whether some songs have risen and others have fallen.
Since those songs will not have changed (though, I suppose Taylor may have released new mixes of them, perhaps many times over), the list becomes a great barometer for seeing how you may have changed in the intervening years.
Or, here’s another idea. Screw the list. Just listen to the songs.